Lonely Person

Someone told me, I should stop being depressed. I don't agree with him. I'm not depressed. I'm just a lonely person looking for some way to connect with other people. Just like any other human beings. Any human beings I know that is.

You see, we have dreams in our lives and we are constantly moving in that direction. Sometimes, eventually, we are lucky enough to get there. We get there, and we're alone. And we're lonely. After we're miserable enough, we destroy our lovely nest and force ourselves back into the larger world. And so it goes. Alone. Together. Alone. Together.

If you're reading this, you know this cycle. Surfing on the net, browsing and reading other people's junk is not a group activity. Not like going to a movie or concert. This is the lonely end of the spectrum.
Same goes to me. I write only when I'm lonely. So chances are, most of my writings are kinda depressing.

We have all the sleazy chatrooms, beats, telephone sex lines, illness support groups. All these places are, I believe, schools for learning how to tell a story effectively. Out loud. To people. Not just to look for ideas, but how to perform at the same time.

We live our lives according to stories. About being Chinese, being Malay or being Indian. About working hard or bumming around. Being gay or straight, male or female. And we spend our lives looking for evidence, facts and proof, that support our story.
And why do we feel the need to do so? Because we are lonely. We need to feel connected with people.

Someone asked me why do I look depressed most of the time.I told him, because being depressed is cool and it makes me feel more human.